Cultivate a character and environment that your teen knows that he or she can come to you with any questions or concerns. Adopt in your life—what James calls—“wisdom from above,” that is peaceable, gentle, and open to reason (James 3:17). If your default attitude to close-mindedness, harshness, or dismissiveness, how do you expect your teen to ever approach you? At this time in their cognitive development, teens have taken a shift from the concrete questions of “what?” and have moved to the more abstract values of “why?” Love your teen well, and help them see that love by showing them hard questions and open discussion are not only allowed, but encouraged; because if they cannot come to you, they will go somewhere else for answers, so be open.

As a parent you are the spiritual thermometer in your household (you measure the spiritual temperature), and you are the spiritual thermostat in your household (you set the spiritual temperature). Deuteronomy 6:6-7 calls parents to bring God’s Word into every aspect of life for their children, and this is a call that cannot be ignored. Is your home Gospel-saturated? Be passively diligent as you find ways to bring the Gospel into every part of your family. Share what you are learning in church and Bible Study with your teen. Ask worldview questions that bring up gospel themes while watching TV or a movie. Even in your failures, help your teen see God’s love and mercy as you seek forgiveness and grow. Additionally, be actively diligent as you directly address the heart of your teen. Ask clear questions and discuss the Gospel with your teen; not accusing or belittling him or her if a decision has not yet been made, but rather opening more points of discussion.

As you create an environment that opens up discussion, be sure to be ready to answer questions and talk about the Gospel. It may sound simple, but you cannot over-prepare this step as you allow the Gospel to saturate your life and cross over into your teen’s life. The more you prepare, the readier you will be to walk your teen through the most important decision of his or her life. The Gospel is so simple that a small child can understand it, yet so complex that theologians marvel at its intricacies regularly. The fact that God would love sinners like us so much, that He sent Christ to die for us, is so wonderfully humbling. What grace! Parent, extend that love and grace to your teen, and keep faithful! Your teen is worth it.